I'm a CelebrityGet me Out of Here!
by Nemainofthewater
Summary: The Wizarding edition. Fred and George are about to unleash hell upon the unsuspecting Wizarding world! Hermione really should have known better then to let them watch Muggle T.V. Now, all they need to do is work out how to convince people to join up...
1. The Great Idea

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Prologue**

Ant and Dec made their final goodbyes, and the television screen faded to black.

Fred and George looked at each other, identical expressions of delight on their faces. Their project was nearly done, and once it was finished…

Hermione, great witch that she was, had invented a wizarding version of the television that wasn't affected by magic, and then she had made her mistake. She had introduced the Weasley twins to British shows.

They had both been captivated by the inventive ways that Muggles came up to torture, or rather, entertain, themselves and each other with, and after skipping through other channels (not before writing down some of the more inventive ones though. The X-Factor was genius! And Masterchef…well, after their mum had come in, it had all they could do to stop her hogging the television all the time) they had realized just how boring wizarding television was.

All documentaries and news. Someone needed to add a little fun into the mix.

"Now," said Fred, "all we need to do is to work out how we can sucker them into joining up…"

The Wizarding world wouldn't know what hit them.

**Hello! So this is just a little idea in my head that wouldn't go away. But, to write this, I really need your help. Please leave a review saying just who you want in this (Fred and George will be presenting, but I need 13 celebrities!) and I also want this story is going to function like the show, so I need you to vote for who should be eliminated each chapter, and maybe who should do the trial each week. Thank you so much!**

**Nemain **


	2. How did they manage to convince us?

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Thank you to everyone for your great reviews, and thanks to everyone who suggested names! There's been a little confusion; the celebrities will not be people from the 'real' world, but from the Harry Potter universe. After having read this, please vote for the first celebrity that you want to see in a trial.**

**Chapter 1**

One month later the owls went out. Thirteen different owls flew out from Australia, making their way to Europe, and to the poor unsuspecting victims that awaited them there.

"Post for you Ron!" called Hermione.

Ron, wonderful, loving husband that he was, didn't bother getting up from where he was watching a rugby match on the T.V.

"Just open it Hermione," he called out without taking his eyes off the screen. "I don't keep any secrets from you."

Really, Hermione sighed to herself, she should have known better than to introduce Ron to the sports channel anyway.

"Dear Ickle Ronnikins-" she began, to be cut off by a strangled yelp and have the paper snatched out of her hands.

"Gimme that!" Ron said; blushing beet red, and he opened it, all the while muttering about twins and stupid nicknames.

"Well?" asked Hermione, "What is it?"

"Fred and George are inviting me to do this competition thingy." He replied, "Hey, this is really cool. The prize is 1000 galleons. All I need to do is sign here."

And before Hermione could stop him, he signed on the dotted line of the parchment that he was holding, the extremely thick parchment, without even reading it.

"Ron!" she said, scandalized; "You don't even know what you're agreeing to!"

"Yeah, but it won't be that bad. I'm their brother."

Hermione felt a desperate urge to slam her head against something. Was Ron really that naïve? "What's the return address?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Ron showed her the envelope, and she crowned.

I'M A CELEBRITY HQ

AUSTRALIA

Grinned back at her in purple flashing letters.

She shook her head, and moved over to the fireplace. Some people had a little explaining to do.

" Vernon, do you really think this is a good idea?" asked Petunia Dursley anxiously.

"Of course it is Petunia dear," he replied pompously. "5000 pounds? And all we need to do is camp out for a few weeks! When we get beck, we're going on a holiday to Majorca."

Hermione burst out of the fireplace, and into the newly constructed HQ.

"What is this?" she shrieked at Fred, who had happened to be nearer to the fireplace at the time. Poor sod.

"It's the sign up Hermione," Fred replied, shooting a dirty look at George, who was laughing at him from a safe distancs.

"I'm a celebrity? Are you insane? I want you to call this off right now! Really, you should know better!"

"Really Hermione, it's perfectly safe."

"Safe! My husband is terrified of spiders! Were you planning on telling him how big they get in Africa? And I actually read the contract! No wands for the trials? Someone's going to get hurt!"

"Listen Hermione, it really is safe," said George, finally moving in. "We wouldn't really hurt anyone, the bad press that we'd get… Tell you what, if you're worried about our ickle baby brother, come out here and be our Mediwitch. You're the best of course, and that way you'd be able to watch over our little brother."

Hermione hesitated. She would be able to make sure that Ron was safe. And he was staring at the T.V more than here…

"Add in a free video of all Ron's most embarrassing moments, and you have a deal."

Harry stared at all the people around him. He knew everyone there, although he couldn't believe that they'd all signed up for this. He only had because Ginny and Hermione had asked him to keep an eye on Ron for them.

They were all in a very nice Muggle hotel that Fred and George had rented for the event, and where they and any other eliminated celebrities would be staying, as well as the support team.

"Hello; and thank you all for coming agreeing to participate in this game!" George's voice boomed out.

"So, this year, the first of many, the celebrities going into the jungle will be…" said Fred

"HARRY POTTER!"

"RON WEASLEY!"

"LUNA LOVEGOOD!"

"DOLORES UMBRIDGE!"

"LAVANDER BROWN!"  
" DRACO MALFOY!"

"NYMPHADORA TONKS!"

"SEAMUS FINNIGAN!"

"NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM!"

"SYBILL TRELAWNEY!"

"VICTOR KRUM!"

"And finally, for your pleasure-" added Fred,

"MR AND MRS DURSLEY!" Finished George.

"Right," he continued, "also give a big welcome to Mr Severus Snape and Mrs Hermione Weasley who will e our attending Mediwizards!"

Hermione shot them a glare.

"And witches," Fred said hastily.

"Eat, drink and enjoy yourselves, because tomorrow, you're descending into the jungle!"


	3. Alliances and Arguments

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Hello! Thank you for all of your kind reviews! There is the first trial coming up next chapter, and I really need all of you to vote for whoever you want in it, one male and one female. Since voting is free, you have no excuse not to! **

**Chapter 2**

"Well then Gred, I think that went well." Said George, grinning from ear to ear. They had introduced the celebrities to each other, and nobody had been killed, or, apparently, actually read the magically binding contract that they were sent, as he was sure that Malfoy wouldn't be here if he had.

He chinked his butterbeer bottle against Fred's, and leaned back.

"Course it did Forge," replied his twin brother. "Now come on, drink up. Our first broadcast in the morning."

George felt an earsplitting grin appear on his face. Tomorrow was going to _rock._

Severus Snape stood by the pair that together formed the bane of his existence, and groaned at the too perky 'Good Morning!' that they gave everyone. 5am was not morning, or waking up early. It was pure sadistic torture.

"Would everyone please follow me?" the infernal brat, which one he couldn't tell, but that didn't matter because they were as bad as each other, continued talking. Severus simply tuned him out. He was a professor at Hogwarts! He shouldn't even be here!

He scowled again, and then turned back to the group. At least he could enjoy their misery.

Dolores Umbridge sneered at all that Potter boy, and turned away from him to shoot an evil glare at the two blood-traitors on the podium in front of her.

"…which means that your first challenge begins now. You will all be loaded into coffins, and transported to the camps that will be your homes for the next few weeks. There are two camps, one for the boys, camp Sevvy, and one for the girls, camp Hermy."

Both Snape and Hermione scowled at that, but they stayed quiet. As soon as the two of them were alone however…

"If the boys would head this way?" asked Fred, pointing to a row of coffins, with an unholy smile on his face.

"And the girls would come with me." Continued George, with a matching smile on his.

Ron answered his brothers' grins with one of his own. After having faced Voldemort with Harry, this was dead simple. Pun intended.

He went near the coffin with his name on it…hold on; they had put Ronnikins on it. They'd never let this go! He glanced over to where Hermione was, and settled for just mumbling under his breath.

He lay down in his coffin, and waited as the lid was put on. He was so busy laughing at the indignant screams of Petunia Dursley that he didn't even notice that he wasn't alone in the coffin…

"Wasn't it a little cruel to put spiders in his box?" asked Seamus to the two unrepentant twins beside him.

"Nah," they chorused.

"Good Morning, and welcome to the first broadcast of, I'm a Celebrity…Get me out of here!" shouted both of the twins, the sonorous spell making their voices echo around the jungle, and scaring several birds from the trees.

Off camera, Snape rolled his eyes at their antics, and on the cameras Colin and Dennis chattered excitedly through headsets about which angle would capture the, very prudent, birds fleeing best.

"Early this morning, our celebrities were transported to the jungle that will be their home for the next few weeks. But, they arrived there in a very unusual way." Said George, and with a flick of his wand, the screen behind him lighted up, and began showing the events of the night before when the celebrities were introduced, before cutting to footage of Ron in his coffin, being lowered into the jungle, whimpering all the while.

"Once there, they made their way to their campsites, where they started to settle down. During that time, there were some unlikely alliances formed." Said Fred

The screen cut to a footage of the girls campsite.

All of the girls had chosen the places where they were going to sleep for the night, and since the bunks had been arranged in pairs, there had been a mad rush to find partners, as nobody wanted to be paired with Umbridge.

The cameras showed footage of each of the hammocks; Luna and Tonks sat side by side chatting on one pair, while Trelawney and Lavender used boiled water and probably poisoned leaves to make some tea so that they could read the tea leaves together. Most surprisingly though, Umbridge and Petunia were sitting together, chatting animatedly. The cameras zoomed in, and we can hear what they were saying.

"Really, though, that Potter brat was insufferable." Said Umbridge with a hauntily.

"I know exactly what you mean," replied Petunia with a sniff. "The brat never did anything around the house. He just expected to be waited on hand and foot by me. Well, of course I wasn't having it. The boy had to earn his keep of course."

"I agree completely. Really, the only way to get through to him was punishments. He's like an animal you see. Al he understands is that."

"Well Gred, do you think that Harry's like an animal?" said George, as if he were talking about the weather.

"Let's look at this Forge."

On the screen, a footage of Harry with a lion's head roared back at them.

"Thank you for clearing that up. People, yes Harry Potter is an animal."

Miles away, Ginny, who was watching the show with her parents at the Burrow, sighed.

"He is an animal alright," she said softly, a dreamy look on her face.

"Well, not everything in the boys camp went as smoothly as that," continued Fred, blissfully unaware of the comment that his sister had made.

The screen cut to a look at the boy4s camp.

The camp was slightly larger than the girl's one, and there was one hammock all by itself as there were an uneven number of boys.

On that hammock, that although magically enhanced, was groaning under his weight, sat Vernon Dursley. He was as far away from the others as possible, and they in turn were ignoring him.

A few hammocks over, Ron was sitting next to Harry, still twitching slightly, and brushing at his clothes in case there were any spiders left.

Further on again, next to the fire were Neville and Draco, whose raised voices were pointedly being ignored by the others.

"You idiot Longbottom! How could you put the fire out like that?" yelled Draco, practically smoking with rage.

"Well, at least I tried to help!" Neville retorted, "unlike you, Mr 'I'm too good to do anything because I'm a Malfoy'."

"Well next time, even though I doubt you can achieve it, try to avoid spilling water on the fire!"

The scene once more cut back to Fred and George.

"Well, that looks like a heated argument," said Fred.

George groaned.

"Honestly Gred, is that the best you can come up with? Your jokes are so bad, they just splutter and die."

George paused for a beat.

"Come on guys. Splutter and die? Like a fire? Never mind."

"Now, we come to a very important bit; the audience participation. Whoever has to participate in the first trial will be decided by you. Simply go to the nearest owl office, where you will see a special cage with 'I'm a Celebrity…Get me out of Here!' written on it. Simply write the name of the contestants, one girl, one boy, you want in the trial on a piece of parchment, and send it in via one of the owls. Each vote costs one sickle, and only official 'I'm a celebrity owls will be counted."

"Now, we're going to have a short break, don't go anywhere."

All over magical Britain, post offices were taken by surprise as they were stormed by maniacs wanting to vote before the vote was over.

**Well, that's it for this chapter! Once again, I really do need you to vote for who you want to see in the first trial! Remember, you need to vote for someone from the boy's camp and someone from the girl's camp. Thank you in advance!**


	4. Quaffle Trial

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Thank you everyone for your nice reviews; and most importantly, VOTES. I am sensing some serious Umbridge hating here… Well, this time, please vote for who you want out of the competition next chapter, as well as two celebrities, one boy, one girl, to perform in the next trial.**

**Here's a reminder of all the celebrities:**

**Harry Potter **

**Ron Weasley**

**Draco Malfoy**

**Luna Lovegood**

**Dolores Umbridge**

**Lavender Brown**

**Nymphadora Tonks**

**Seamus Finnigan**

**Neville Longbottom**

**Petunia Dursley**

**Sybill Trelawney**

**Victor Krum**

**Vernon Dursley**

**Chapter 3**

"Hello girls," said one George Weasley, looking at camp Hermy. The girls had been in the camp for two hours now, and as they only had one waterfa-, erm, shower, between them, there were still some of them walking around in bikinis waiting for their turn after the first trial.

Lavender shrieked, and threw a shoe at him, which he neatly dodged.

"Ah, ah, ah! That isn't any way to treat someone who's bringing you news." He admonished playfully, wagging one finger at her.

Then the tables turned as all the other women came around him to listen, including one Dolores Umbridge who had just finished showering, and was wearing a pink bikini with cats one it.

George doubled over in pain.

"My eyes," he howled, "my poor eyes!"

"Grow up," said Tonks besides him, "Stop fooling around, and tell us the news."

"Fine," he finally grumbled, "Take all the fun out of it."

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him. George ignored it and continued.

"In fifteen minutes, the first live trial will begin, and the wizarding public has voted. That means that the cameras are rolling live right now, to watch all of your reactions to the news. I can tell you which one of you has been selected for the challenge."

" Lavender… it's not you.

Sybill…it's not you.

Luna…it might be you.

Petunia…it's not you.

Tonks…it's not you.

Dolores…it's not you."

"Really boy," said Umbridge, "you do not have my permission to call me by my Christian name. You may call me ma'am or Madame Umbridge."

"I'm so sorry, Ma'am." Said George sweetly, batting his eyelids. "I was about to up the suspense, but now I'll just tell you that the public have voted for you, _ma'am._ Please hand me your wand, and I'll lead you to it."

"My wand? What do you mean my wand, you insolent brat?"

"Didn't you read the contract before you signed it? Tsk, tsk, Madame Umbridge. All contestants are required to give up their wands for the trials. Such a pity that you didn't read the _magical _binding contract before you signed it." Said George, in a voice that clearly indicated that it wasn't, and in fact that he was utterly enjoying this.

You could hear Umbridge's screams from the other side of the jungle.

Victor Krum wasn't quite sure why he was here, in Australia; on a game show that he frankly didn't have any idea what it was about.

A tiny voice in his subconscious whispered about brown hair, and a beautiful smile, and a wonderful intellect… But, as ever, Victor ignored it. She, who he wasn't thinking about, thank you very much, was married, and if the fact that she would be working on the set this year on the show tipped his decision to join, well, it was just to see an old friend.

Luckily for him, and his denial, Fred chose that moment to appear and declare that he had an announcement.

"And so, the contestant to take part in the first live trial, is," said Fred, and then paused, long enough for millions of hooked viewers around Britain to shake their wands at him, and yell at him to get in with it.

"Draco!"

What!

"There has to be some mistake Weasley!" he practically screamed.

"Sorry Draco," he smirked, "now if you could hand me your wand?"

Ten minutes later, two sullen, wandless people and two very cheerful presenters made their way to the clearing where the first trial would begin.

"Good afternoon ladies, gentlemen and Fudge. Today, the celebrities that you have chosen via owl are now going to compete in the first Bushtucker trial of this series! They will compete against each other to win stars that represent meals for either camp Hermy or Sevvy."

Fred stopped there, and George continued.

"The two of you will be competing in the Quaffle Trial. In these two barrels-" He gestured to two large, innocent looking barrels besides him, "there are six hidden barrels for camp Hermy, and seven for camp Sevvy. You have two minutes to find them all by digging through the barrels."

Fred took up the speech again.

"You can stop anytime you want by saying, 'I'm a slimy git…get me out of here!', but them you're camp won't have anything to eat apart from rice and beans, and you'll probably get lynched. Do you two accept? "

Draco gave a short nod, and Umbridge merely hmph-ed. Fred and George took this as a consent, and they stepped back.

Severus and Hermione stepped on.

"Now them Draco," Severus drawled, "You will take these goggles, and you will put them on to protect your eyes from the insects."

"Insects?" Draco squeaked.

Next to Umbridge, Hermione shoved the goggles at Umbridge without talking, and then stalked off. After another second of reassuring Draco, Severus followed her.

"Wasn't that a little cruel?" he murmured to her softly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Replied Hermione primly. Severus just shrugged, and went back to watching the show. This was going to be good.

"Ready? Go!"

With those words, Draco started to shovel through the spiders and and fire ants that filled the barrel, ignoring them biting him as he tried to find the quaffles. He was a Slytherin. He was going get all the stars, and show Potter who was the boss. It was goo that Severus had put things in perspective for him.

Umbrige was having the worst time of her life. As soon as she had looked in the barrel, she had known that she didn't want to do this. Worst of all, the smug brats behind her were giggling and whispering jokes to one another.

She poked one finger into the barrel, and leaned over it, only to draw back on horror as her goggles fell off into the barrel, and the fire ants immediately made for her face.

"It's very surprising that you didn't make it into Slytherin, Miss Granger." Said Severus, watching in glee as Umbridge shrieked and tried to bat the ants off her face.

"I don't know what you're talking about," replied Hermione primly.

"And, time is up!"

Fred regretfully sent a spell towards the ants that forced them to return to the barrel. He didn't want Umbridge to kill them all, after all.

Draco stood by his barrel, absolutely filthy with squashed ants and spiders, and holding 5 quaffles in his hands. All Umbridge had was a puffy face, where the fire ants had bitten her.

Severus Snape came over, and waved his wand over her face.

"Oh dear Madame." He said silkily, "I'm afraid that the ant venom is going to be highly painful exiting you wounds."

Hermione stayed and looked at Umbridge as she walked away. Maybe dosing her goggles with a potion to attract bugs had been a little mean? Nah.

"Thank you very much for watching! Please send in your votes for who you want to leave the jungle for good, as well as the names of the two celebrities that you want to torture tomorrow." Said George.

"You should be able to find the owls at post offices near you, and votes only cost one sickle, so vote!" finished Fred.

"Goodbye, and see you next time!"

"We don't have any food tonight." Umbridge announced with difficulty, the venom in her face already beginning to seep out thanks to Severus' spell.

Tonks leaned over to Luna and said:

"You know? I don't care. I hope that Umbridge gets the next trial. I could get used to this."

Luna smiled back at her.

"Don't worry," she said in her dreamy voice, "the nargles won't leave her alone now they have her scent."


	5. The First Vote Off

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Chapter 4**

**Hey guys! Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, and most importantly votes! I hope that you al like this chapter, and don't forget, if you want to torture someone, vote! It doesn't cost anything, but it's a whole lot of fun! Once again, I need two people for the trials, one girl one boy. The trials going to be next chapter, and the next vote off the chapter after that, but if you want to vote someone off early, that's great too!**

Draco Malfoy swaggered into the camp, head held high. He looked down at Ron Weasley, who was lying in a hammock with his chessboard, beating Harry. Again. In fact, even Ron didn't know why Harry kept coming back for more.

Draco Malfoy didn't know, and really didn't care about how bad Harry was at chess. In fact, he couldn't care less. He just wanted his achievements to be acknowledged.

"Well Draco?" asked Harry, looking up from where his bishop had just been taken. "What happened?"

"Five stars," he said smugly. "That means that five of us get to eat. Now, the only question is who doesn't?"

"What do you mean Malfoy?" asked Ron immediately, his stomach growling at the thought of nothing but rice and beans to eat in the evening.

"I mean, weasel, that since I did the challenge, I get to choose two people that aren't going to eat tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea Draco," said Harry. "I mean, we should probably share it all out so that we all get something."

"Put it this way Potter." He replied, "There's no way that that fat Muggle is getting anything."

Harry thought.

There was no way he was going to pass up this good of an opportunity!

"Deal," Harry said, ignoring Ron's splutters as he shook Draco's hand.

"As for you weasel," continued Malfoy, turning to Ron, "Did you know that Krum still writes to your wife?"

"I can't believe it!" said Ron, "I thought that Bulgarian BEEP had stopped writing to her! I mean, doesn't he realize that she loves me now? What the BEEP Hermione thinking, still writing to him? That just encourages BEEP like Krum! And I had to hear this from that slimy git Malfoy?

"This has just been an awful day," cried Umbridge, her face still red and spotty. "I can't believe that those miscreants actually had the gall to laugh at me! Me! The senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. And that Granger girl, I'm sure that she did something to my glasses on purpose! Please, everyone out there, DON'T vote for me!"

Ginny looked at her mother. Her mother looked at her. They both rushed out of the house to send as many owls as possible to vote for Umbridge.

Luna skipped along to the outside of the camp, past Lavender who was doing her make-up, past Tonks who was turning herself into Muggle criminals to scare the Muggle woman with the huge teeth.

Luna finally arrived in a small clearing where there was a wireless waiting for her.

"Hello Luna," said a voice from it. "We've got a job for you. If you do it right, then there'll be a treat for everyone in your camp. Now, we have three tasks that we want you to perform. You can't tell anyone about them, and you have to do them on your own."

"However," a slightly different voice continued, "Feel free to brag about it afterwards, and know that we'll be taking pictures!"

"Task one is to steal Lavender's make-up and implicate someone else. Task two is to somehow convince everyone that there is an alligator in the bathing hole. Task three is to destroy Umbridge's bikini. Toss it in the fire, feed it to an animal, bury it, we don't care. We just never ever want to see it anywhere near her ever again."

With that last message, the tape stopped.

Luna smiled to herself. This was going to be _fun._

Camp Sevvy, and how Severus loathed that name!, and camp Hermy assembled. They knew that this was the first vote off, and all of them were hoping that it would be them. I mean, stay in a luxury Hotel, or camp out in the jungle and do horrible task? It was really no comparison.

Fred and George walked into the clearing.

"Hello everyone!" said Fred, "and how was your first day in the jungle?"

The reactions and comments varied, from a quite rude gesture from Umbridge, to Lavender wailing about the lack of mirrors, to Draco looking very smug. George however, ignored all of them and continued.

"Well, one of you is going to get very lucky and be voted off."

At that there was a wild round of applause.

"Well, I'm not going to make you wait. The person going today is… VICTOR KRUM!"

At that, Victor stood up and smiled. It was not a nice smile. This was the best thing that had happened, and his master plan was coming along nicely. Now he was going to stay in the same hotel as Hermy Oh, hemmi Oh Nin, Har… (Well, you get the point), he was going to be able to be with her for a long while.

"Now then Victor, if you'd get your things and meet us in the studio?"

At home, millions of girls sighed as Victor strode out of the jungle and was immediately hugged by his mother. What they wouldn't give to be in her place!

"And now," said George, "The names of the two people selected for today's trial, are..."

**Hello again! I just wanted to say, thank you so much everyone for voting, and this story wouldn't be possible without you! Also, this is officially the most reviews that I have ever had for a story, and I am so grateful to all of you!** **(I know, I just said the same thing twice, but oh well…)**

**Nemain**


	6. The WFactor

Title : I'm a Celebrity…Get me Out of Here : Wizard Edition

Author: Nemainofthewater

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, it all belongs to J.K Rowling and ITV.

**Chapter 5**

**Hello, and as always thank you all so much for your votes! Without you guys this story wouldn't be possible. This time I need one person for the vote off, and I need two people, one boy one girl for the next trial which will be the chapter after next. I really hope that you enjoy this!**

"…our ittle Ronnikins," said Fred.

"And…"

"The Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic," the two twins said simultaneously, batting their eyelids in fake adoration.

"WHAT!" screamed Umbridge, "What are you talking about! I can't do it, I've just done one! I can't believe this! You two," she growled suddenly, pointing a finger at Fred and George, "you two must have rigged this somehow, you two little troublemakers…"

"Silencio," cast Harry calmly.

Umbridge's mouth opened and closed furiously.

"Mummy," asked a little girl watching the show, "what's that lady saying?"

The girl concentrated on the way that her lips were moving.

"f, f fu-"

Her mother quickly covered her eyes.

"Mummy," asked the little girl again, "why's that lady saying fudge?"

A mute, bright red Umbridge was being restrained by Severus.

"I'm afraid that you're magically bound to this, Dolores." Said George.

"Well, that'll teach you to read what you sign!"

"Yes, it really looks like you fudged up," said Fred.

"Listen to me," hissed Draco Malfoy, "I won enough food for us today, but we still have one person who's going hungry. If you even think about coming back with no stars, I'll make sure that that's you."

Ron gulped and paled slightly, then squared his shoulders. He was a man, and he was going to act like one!

He stared straight at George, who then gave him a wink and a sinister smile. Ron immediately broke down again. He knew that smile! Oh god, he was going to die!

"If you two would follow us."

There was a stage set up in a clearing, with poster of a red and black W pinned to the back of it.

"You two lucky people will get to sing two songs each in order to win stars so that you eat. Each song is worth 3 stars, so don't mess them up," Fred started.

"The two songs you're going to sing are A Cauldron Full of Hot Strong Love and Odo the Hero. Don't forget, you can stop at any time by saying 'I'm a git. Please wonderful Gred and Forge get me out of here. " finished George.

"What?" spluttered Ron, "You've got to be kidding me! You know that I can't sing!"

"Don't worry Ron," said George.

"We've brought earmuffs," said Fred.

"This is bad," said Hermione to Severus, "They can't serious. They wouldn't be as cruel as to make us listen to Ron for two whole songs."

"Is Weasley really that bad?" asked Severus, a hint of what might have been worry in his voice.

"His voice shattered three glasses before I silencio-ed him when he was trying to propose by singing to me." Said Hermione flatly, "I said yes on the condition that he never sang again."

Ron stood on one side of the stage nervously. Fred, George, Hermione and Severus were seated in front of him, each with large buzzers near them, and Umbridge was on the other side of the stage.

Ron was very pleased that he and Umbridge were singing at the same time. Maybe they wouldn't hear his voice that way.

The song started.

Ron started too high, and his voice squeaked embarrassingly. Umbridge wasn't much better, her voice was surprisingly deep for a woman, and she was horribly off key.

Hermione and Severus immediately pressed both their buzzers.

Suddenly a bucketful of spiders landed on Ron. He shrieked like a little girl. Umbridge started stamping on them viciously.

"I'm a git!" yelled Ron, "I can't do this! Get me out of here!"

"What was that?" asked George, "I didn't hear you."

"I'm a git!" he screamed as a spider made its way into his shirt, "Get me out of here wonderful Ged and Forge!"

"Should we Gred?" asked George.

"Well, he is our brother, "

"True. But he is annoying a lot of the time."

"But he did annoy Umbridge for us,"

"Well, I think-"

The scream made every single animal in sight run away as fast as possible.

In camp Hermy, Luna calmly climbed to the top of a large bolder.

"What is that freak doing?" sneered Petunia.

It was at that moment that a kangaroo squashed her, and the various animals rushed into camp; Luna watched with amusement at the trouble it caused. It always did well to listen to the nargles.

"If he doesn't have to do it, I don't either!" said Umbridge.

"You do realize that if you forfeit now, your camps won't get any food at all?"

"Yes! And I don't care!" replied Umbridge. "Ingrates, the lot of them!"

Ron didn't reply, as he was crouched on the floor, rocking back and forth as Severus and Hermione checked him over.

"Spiders," he whimpered, "Spiders…"

**On that note, I think I'm going to end the chapter. Next time, the next vote off, Draco's reaction to no food for the next night, the arrival of the food that Draco won on the last challenge, and hopefully Luna destroying that bikini before Umbridge gets anywhere near it. Thank you for reading, and don't forget to vote!**


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